My Nigerian engagement ceremony br identity crisis

My Nigerian engagement ceremony br identity crisis

I am generally speaking associated with the belief that the wedding just isn’t constantly it should reflect you: your beliefs, your values, and your community about you, but. One of many responses that people heard most frequently about our wedding ended up being: “It ended up being so… you, ” and I also liked it, for the reason that it was one of our objectives in preparing the function. I believe for this reason We struggled a great deal with my feelings in regards to the Nigerian engagement ceremony that individuals had the week before our wedding. The whole occasion had been simply therefore maybe perhaps not me, never.

This might be me personally prior to the ceremony: unsure about how exactly we feel and look (and my capacity to walk in those heels). Picture by Genevieve Burruss. Please realize, whenever we state it was not “me, ” I do not suggest because i am maybe perhaps not Nigerian (although i am not). I am talking about that the aesthetic ended up being over-the-top and vibrant while We tend towards minimalist and quirky. I am talking about that there have been duplicated recommendations to beliefs that are religious social values that i actually do not share. After all that the (American) food had mushrooms with it (that we dislike) plus the accent color ended up being red (again, not an admirer). I became in heels in place of flats with earrings that hurt my ears, and now we very nearly entirely missed supper for the costume modification. We spent much of the feeling like a life-size doll evening.

Permit me to explain with a directory of a Nigerian engagement ceremony…

(Disclaimer: that is my understanding after nine months of planning, plus one of living through it, not as someone raised in the culture day. It had been a Christian, Yoruba ceremony. )

A Nigerian engagement ceremony is normally hosted by the spouse’s household and occurs soon prior to the wedding. Its sometimes generally known as the “Traditional Wedding. ” (for the ceremony, my in-laws planned and hosted it plus it had been the week-end before our wedding. ) the main focus is regarding the grouped families(including extended relatives and buddies) meeting one another, joining to be one family, and formally offering their approval and blessings into the couple. Continue reading