The Psychology of ‘Backburner’ Relationships

The Psychology of ‘Backburner’ Relationships

One episode in period five of the way I Met Your Mother, called “Hooked,” revolves around individuals being kept “on the hook,” romantically speaking, by people in the show’s central gang of buddies. “I can’t be to you … now” may be the expression the pals keep using to sequence these people along, the “right now” making the entranceway cracked open just enough that evidently some bad man is happy to continue doing Robin’s washing and rub her foot for the obscure likelihood of a someday relationship.

This will not result in the buddies look excellent, clearly, but maintaining an eye on and maintaining in touch with alternate intimate leads is a very common thing for people to accomplish, even when it really is rarely this kind of an exaggerated, sitcommy way. a recent research published in Computers in Human Behavior dubs these interactions “backburner relationships.” A backburner, as defined because of the research, is “a person to who one is not currently committed, in accordance with who one keeps some amount of interaction, to keep or establish the alternative of future intimate and/or sexual involvement.”

The lead research author, Jayson Dibble, an assistant teacher of interaction at Hope College, told me personally, “What originally inspired me to look at this occurs when you meet someone at a club and trade figures, you may undergo your associates later and state ‘Oh I understand that man. We might zing him an email to see how he’s doing . It had been influenced by my old times in grad school.”

“once you had been everybody that is meeting the club?” We asked.

“Well, we say research is me-search,” he replied, laughing. Continue reading